Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
