Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
