His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
