If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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