just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
