theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Terrible idea I love it
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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