i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
