the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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