found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
