I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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