OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
