boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
