Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
