Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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