i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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