i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
