is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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