i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
