i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
