The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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