what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
