Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You can't special order awesome
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
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