I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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