I seem to have left my pride at pride
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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