so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
