We're facebook friends in real life
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
