i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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