His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
