you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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