maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
