Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
