did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
