I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
