There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
