So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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