So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
