I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
