I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Randomize
