If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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