I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
