this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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