The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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