Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
