Non-Jews are for practice
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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