I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
