we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
