How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
