Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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