if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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