did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize