Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Randomize
