i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
