So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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