see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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