I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
