All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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