sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
