he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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