How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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