you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
