I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
