He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
