are you still at the devil's house?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
