Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
operation harelip BJ is a go
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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