how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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