When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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