I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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