And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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