It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
