White coat. Heels.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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