After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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