if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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