So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
nutella sex= disaster
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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